I longed for a kiss – perhaps this essay is a bit confession of mine as I write my life: A LIFE OF A SEMINARIAN.
I was sixteen then, when I first entered the seminary. That was a good experience because I felt the love of my God to me. Everyone loves me; my relatives, my friends, and my youth and children in my apostolate. I felt so much happiness because everybody seemed to like me (except for my parents). However, there is Grandma who really showers me her love and affection. She was not just my grandmother but my father and my mother too.
Unfortunately, she died seven years ago. That was a very tragic event of my life. It became my most painful experience that I could have ended my own life. I lost my love, because of this; I leave the seminary and seek for love alone. I disregard the love for my Lord and seek for somebody else’s love; I seek for it in everywhere.
I longed for a kiss – yet, I couldn’t find a true one. Because of this longing, I lost my way and find myself in hell. I ended up kissing demons and wild beast, I ended up selling my soul and flesh, I ended up making myself a trash. I lost my love, and then I lost my life. I was only looking for a kiss but what I found is a lost spirit.
But I guess the power of love is more than the power of fire in hell. That is why I am back here again in our seminary. I feel the love of my God again. He helps me find the missing piece of my life who is my mom and he brings back the lost love of my dad. I felt His warm embrace and finally the tender kiss of my God to my forehead – the true kiss that I longed to have.
A life of a seminarian as they are saying is a sacrifice, a hard kind of life. Indeed, it is a vocation. But for me, a life of a seminarian is an everyday kissing on my Lord’s feet. It is an everyday experience of being kissed and embraces by a loving Father. A life of a seminarian is an experience of everyday love of God.
Walang Makasama